I have hit rock bottom or so i think

I never actually believed in Karma,but i believed that to every action there was opposite and equal reaction(n I don't really believe in the equal part too) but anyway i  also believe any thing one does,one receive a reward whether good or bad.

I believed this but i had never really experienced this    till............................................................Not to make matters worse,i actually made a big mistake and nothing seems to be right ever since.Even the 'E' button on my laptop is stuck cos i decided to write this blog.How worse can this get and its actually frustrating the hell out of me.I spend my time and everything trying to do whats right but i don't see it paying off.am STRESSED.I have lost my best friend and my boyfriend all in one.

I have found a new friend i talk to but i want my best friend back. I really do.Funny enough someone told me not to put pressure on him and actually i don't know what the 'pressure' is supposed to mean.I can say am SORRY a thousand times and do my best but it will never be enough.

Have you done something so bad you cant forgive yourself and  no matter how many times the person you offended says ave forgiven you,you cant seem to believe that you have been forgiven??? that's how i feel now :-)

The unconscious state of mind

 The things we do unconsciously,does it say what's on our minds or what we don't see but others do.From my point of view it reflects both but I believe it's affected most by things we close our eyes,hearts and minds to but with the right ways we can change from our sub conscious into our conscious state of mind.Sometimes we are not ready for the events happening and we need to tune out minds to events at hand otherwise people involved may feel deserted and unloved,maybe they might think they are trying too much and that is truly depressing. Sometimes we behave the way we do cos we don't expect what is happening so we react to our first thought and that is mostly in a negative way leaving the people we love hanging. LIFE IS NOT EASY AND WONT BE ANYTIME SOON BUT GOD DEY.

this hurts

I need a friend who will not criticize me  but will rather listen to me and understand.I need some one i can open up to and tell all my secrets.where r you? In times of crises and he or she will be at my beck when i call n comfort me and want nothing in return cos when am happy that's what makes him or her happy too.
When he/she askes "how are you?" really needs a  sincere answer not just the "i am fine" without being fine.All i want to understand the phrase "A friend in need is a friend indeed"